Rocker Time

I sit in the rocker with my son curled up contentedly in my lap. I relish these moments knowing that all too quickly his arms and legs will outgrow this comfort. We sit silently rocking back and forth. Inwardly,I cringe at all the times he's held up his arms and said "hold me" that I've said no because something was drawing my attention. As I sit here rocking, now I know that at those times, I am completely insane. It is moments like these that he will remember some many years down the road when he is too old to be held by his mother. It is moments like these that will bring him calm and joy in his remembrances of childhood, not a spotless house.

As I sit rocking and he sleeping, I feel a healing in my soul that isn't like any other. It is as if the troubled places in my soul swirl around and around, disappearing into a vortex of forgetfulness. Every person I have ever wronged marches by quietly whispering: you are forgiven. Those who have wronged me ask forgiveness and I say yes, easily and quickly and God himself reaches from somewhere inside nothing and asks my soul to dance again. All that as I sit in my rocker with my 3 year old curled in my lap.